17 February 2014

Nerd Rage on MySQL and Postgres

MySQL vexes me SOOOOO MUCH.  Why not just use PostgreSQL?

I know, I know, you’re thinking, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.  I don’t even know how to pronounce those two things.”

So, MySQL can just be pronounced “my squeal,” and PostgreSQL can simply be pronounced “post gres.”  There, one part down.

Choosing a database is a developer thing, I guess.  But… WHY?  Here comes the classic car analogy.

On the left, we’ve got the MySQL coupe.

It’s kinda plain looking.  It has a history of doing unexpected things, like not stopping when you press the brakes, and continuing to accelerate when you release the gas.  It looks like any normal car, but there are some rather devious things under the hood, and is definitely not “standards compliant.”

On the right, we’ve got the PostgreSQL coupe.

It looks sleeker, more like a sports car than a run-of-the-mill coupe.  Even though it costs the same as the MySQL coupe.  It does everything you expect it to.  Everything about it is standards-compliant.

So, why choose MySQL at all?  Doing so has zero benefit.  Choosing PostgreSQL means it’s actually pretty easy to convert to MySQL later (right… “hey, I’m trading in my Lamborghini Diablo for a No-Name Turdmobile).

If you’re a developer, and you’re working with a database, just use PostgreSQL.  It will save you time in the end.  SERIOUSLY.

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5 February 2014

Too Long, Didn’t Read

This post is about the “TL;DR” thing.  If you’re not aware, it means, “Too Long; Didn’t Read”.  It’s irritating to see, and I pretty much hate it.

“Look at that… jeez… it would probably take me like two minutes to read that… nope. TLDR.”

If I post something on Facebook about some article that was mildly amusing, I’ll understand if you didn’t read it.  When I come across long articles that look interesting, but I just don’t have time, then I skip it.  I totally get it.

BUT.  If somebody tells me about it later, says that I should really read it, I try take a few minutes to read it.  Especially if it seems important.

When I write you an email, especially when it’s specifically to you or to a very limited audience, I expect you to read it.  I spent a lot of time on it: the longer it is, the more time I spent on it.

So when you respond with, “TLDR” or some derivative, it means you don’t care about what I’ve said.  Not even enough to skim it.  Seriously, I can skim a two-page email in a couple of seconds if I need to.  In about as much time as it took for you to click “reply,” type in “TLDR,” and hit the send button.

Good friends read.  Acquaintances skim.  Assholes respond with “TLDR”.

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29 January 2014

Excuses and Respect

I hate excuses.  I really hate them.  Trying to get something figured out, get people together, or whatever, and somebody throws out an excuse.

I can’t make it, I just don’t have the time.

That’s a shitty excuse.  “I don’t have time” is like the most over-used excuse ever.  It’s right up there with “I don’t have any money.”

I remember back when I smoked.  Sometimes it was once an hour, once every few hours, or four packs in as many hours (especially when I was out drinking with friends).

Anyway, there were always those times where I couldn’t do something because I didn’t have money.  Couldn’t go to a friend’s place, go out for supper with a buddy from out of town, whatever.

But when I needed smokes, the green just magically appeared.  I don’t even remember how.  Maybe I wrote bad checks.  Maybe it was money I found under the cushions of the couch.  But the money was always there when I needed smokes.  I’d stay home from work if I didn’t feel good, but I sure as hell would leave the house to pick up those smokes, didn’t matter if I had the plague and had to steal the neighbor’s car.

“I know you just got into town, and I haven’t seen you for like a decade, but I don’t have time.  And I’m broke.”  Then I hang up my phone, put the car into park while I run into the gas station to get a box of donuts and a couple packs of smokes.  All so I can go home and play some shitty RPG on my expensive console that I didn’t have the time or money for.

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29 January 2014

What’s Going on Here?

I’ve re-engineered this website.  I’ve removed all the users, deleted all the posts.

It’s a brand new day.

I’m tired of holding things back.  Tired of rewriting the same thing five different times before I post it, just because maybe that first version might piss somebody off.

Prepare to be pissed off.

If you know me, you probably know that I’m usually pretty reserved.  I pick my words carefully, go with the “politically correct” approach, and I’m usually pretty careful about not offending anybody.

This isn’t politically correct.  Probably not grammatically correct, either.

My intention here isn’t to call anybody out on their bullshit.  I’m going to use the “first person” perspective of writing, and I’m going to say “you” a lot.  I’m not talking about you, though.  If I say something that strikes a cord, fine, let it strike.

This ain’t about you.

Maybe you said something to me that struck a cord with me. It invoked some memory of a time where I did something, and now I’ve gotta talk about it.  Because that’s how the human brain works: we remember things by relating them to one another. So if I piss you off because I sound like I’m talking directly to you, fuck right off.   Remember what I said a little bit ago?

This ain’t about you!

Welcome to my world.  My brain just opened up and shit all over the page.  You’re about to get a peek at my (crazed) sanity.

Category: Rant | Comments Off on What’s Going on Here?